Visit(s) to DE

2019 Christmas

  • Have that strange feeling that this has happened before. Should I say something or no? Say to M? Directly to B feels more correct. What to say? DELDOT writes in. Need Feedback to improve.
  • What is needed to be happy? How can we enjoy a meal together?
  • Unkind to Uncle Steve. Didn’t care about the circumstances really. Lost his wife x days ago. Wawa talk isn’t constructive. Mean spirited.
  • Clearly is overworked or overwhelmed. Unenjoyable. Can’t taste food because the atmosphere is so sour. Laughter. Joy. Holiday spirit. Kindness and love.
  • Makes me sad because I wonder what I can do. Or wonder if we should stop coming at all. This conversation is me saying I’m hopeful.
  • Minimal feedback needed. Just a little need a snap out of it. A sideways pull not a counter punch. Was emotionally valuable to acknowledge that on some way I might be complicit in the situation even though I didn’t think we were really.
  • Was very pleasant once the conversation was had. Still felt a little uncomfortable. B was looking to me for temperature.
  • Kathy felt like we stayed one day too long. I just wonder if we’ll need to have that conversation again. This feeling is just so familiar at this point.

2020 June – Trip to Bethany

  • Got really unpleasant around day 3 of the trip
  • Was Mom’s bday on the 24th (our last day)
  • Swore when spoking to Kathy in a way that was inappropriate. I didn’t have the ??? to respond/react immediately.
  • I also didn’t confront. Asked “everything ok?” instead should have asked something more like “are things not going as you expected?”
  • By end, Kathy was just tired of it. Didn’t want to be around.
  • Luckily Eyva didn’t really pick it up/absorb any of the negative vibe. But was untrusting and usure.
  • Overall we have a 3.5d policy from now on regarding visits. Any longer just doesn’t seem to be working out.
  • Plan a trip for my mom to come and that could be nice

2021 Easter

  • Ignoring all the advice above and staying for a week. Are we stupid
  • Wants to express political views that are reactionary and sort of true but insanely politically incorrect
  • In what way an I complicit in this situation?
  • Should call out contrarian for contrarian sake.
  • Solar shit talk get to me. I am uniformed. Find it hard to believe everyone is doing it out of social good.